The Dawn Will Break

  It is always darkest before the dawn but however long the night, the dawn will break.

Yesterday, I was crying on my way to school. I didn't have time to go back home to get my books cause I left my office an hour late. I screwed up my office system and i was really worried. I felt so helpless, i started blaming myself for being a troublemaker.I recalled my uncle saying this to me when i was younger, "you spoil everything you touch". Needless to say, it still applies to me.

I got so emotional, i allowed the devil to take a hold of me. I was constantly telling myself that I am useless and problematic, no one will ever take pity on me when i die. Now that i think about it, i feel so stupid. I wanna look into the mirror and laugh at myself.

The truth is, i do have an attitude problem. I always allow my mood to affect my speech and that explains why i have so many failed relationships. I have anxiety disorder, I am easily agitated and I am extremely impatient. I'll raise my voice unintentionally(at times) when I'm feeling that way. I tried so hard to change my bad habit so that i will stop hurting the ones who love me most, but a leopard never changes its spots. I can be nice for a couple of days and then I'll go back to my old ways. It will definitely take a longer time for me to change but as long as i don't give up, i am certain that i will be a better person someday. The best thing i can do now is to pray to God every night to ask for His forgiveness and ask Him to mould me to become more like Him.

Today Trinz showed me a video of Joyce Meyer, a powerful preacher and i really learned alot of things through the video. JM said :"if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all". I must agree with her because all the tensions and conflicts could have be avoided if i had just shut my mouth when I am not thinking with rational.

A fault confessed is half redressed. I just hope the people that I've hurt with my words will forgive me because I Am Truly Sorry.

We’re told to love the enemies
That in this life we face,
For showing love that’s not deserved
Reveals to them God’s grace. —Bosch

To return good for good is human; to return good for evil is divine.